Of Being a Man
by harpandsword
Summary: Kaidan teaches his son the difference between being a man and being stupid. Yes, apparently there is a difference. As always, SHENKO! Although slight.


**Okay, fluff, and this is extremely fluffy, isn't normally my thing. But this little snippet had been floating in my head awhile and I figured I'd better get it out there before ME 2 came out and they did something silly like RUIN SHENKO FOREVER! Oh Bioware, I'm warning you, there had better be a certain dark haired Lt around when I plop my game in... Just kidding. You know there's nothing I can do about it, except whimper.  
**

**In seriousness though, the new character/colony are based off another one of my stories, After "The End." By all means you do not have to read that to understand this, but that's where Ash (character) and Torox (colony) come from in case you're wondering WTFRAK? And if it sucks, don't be afraid to tell me it sucks. I'm kind of expecting that on this one. I've stocked up on plenty of Coke and kit kats for the occasion to drown my sorrow in. Man Coke is awesome. I mean, I know it can take the rust off a nail but it's so tasty and bubbly...whoops. Story, yeah. Here ya go.  
**

*****  
**

Ash Alenko was in trouble.

Named for a fallen war hero, son of the first human an Spectre, son of a decorated Alliance Marine, he had inherited a great deal of expectations. Expectations that included, at least in his mind, perfection. The adolescent kicked the dirt in frustration as walked back to his parents' hab on their home colony of Torox. The walking part was his first problem.

It wasn't that he was incapable of forward ambulatory motion, though it was more difficult than usual at the moment. The main problem was that Ash hadn't walked out of the hab that morning. He had, in fact, flown out the front door on a brand new hover board which his father had built for his 12th birthday. Spare parts weren't easy to come by on their isolated colony world and despite his father's technical prowess, even Kaidan Alenko required weeks to make a working hover board from the left over scraps of generators, mining equipment, and other odds and ends that he'd scrounged over the last few months. Ash had loved that board and rode it constantly since his birthday last week. It's absence was sure to be noticed when he walked in the front door.

But that wasn't his only problem. Ash, like every other colony brat, had tough clothes designed to last for as long as the rapidly growing kids would fit in them. His kahki colored cargo pants were double stitched with reinforced black patches of kevlar weave over the knees. This particular set had also been a birthday present last week, intended to replace a pair that had constantly incited the question, "Prepping for a flood?"

He had left with these brand new pants in immaculate condition, as was the plain white t-shirt he was wearing at the time. Now brown and red stains marred his previously pristine clothes. He'd torn clean through part of the tough fabric, one kevlar patch hung lamely by it's remaining stitches, and he wasn't even bothering to wear the tattered remnants of cloth that were his t-shirt. He held the clay and bloodstained remnant in his hands. It had been stretched beyond recognition when his friends had tried to pull him up.

"I'm so screwed," he said to himself, dragging his feet through the dirt of Torox. He kicked up piles of dust and sent it billowing into the air. It settled back to the ground slowly, creating an irritating cloud of particles which followed him as he trudged towards his home.

_Maybe not, _he thought to himself. His father had been called down to the mine to repair a drilling laser and his mother was once again hard at work improving the colony defenses. Ash mentally rolled his eyes. He could never understand his mother's obsession with security. Who would ever want to attack such an obscure colony world? He looked around as if to confirm that the arid planet was still the most boring place in the known universe. But this time, her obsession might work to his advantage.

_If I can just get home before them, find my knee pads and rough them up a bit, they'll never know I was jumping the gap out behind the O'Malley's place, or that I wasn't wearing__ pads..._

Ash shook his head. It sounded lame even to him. He'd still have to fabricate an explanation for his clothes. But really, it was his only chance to escape his transgressions with impunity. Not that he deserved it looking back on the incident. One of Torox's defining features, besides its isolation, was its extreme me terrain. The gap between the north and south side of the O'Malley land had seemed minuscule while standing on the one side. A simple footbridge spanned it a few meters from where he and his friends had built the ramp. However, the distance of the fall, Ash realized as he attempted the feat, was tremendous. The sudden realization of the gravity of the situation is probably what had thrown his timing and caused him to fail in his attempt.

With a small glimmer of hope in the forefront of his mind, Ash began a hobbled run home. He was sure nothing was broken, his father, the consummate field medic, was insistent on him learning basic first aid, but was pretty banged up and his legs didn't appreciate the change in pace.

His stomach also growled its displeasure. He had also forgotten to take his extra biotic rations with him. Ash was always supposed to have his extra rations on him. One would have thought a fringe colony such as this one would begrudge giving extra food to anyone, but as it so happened most of the colonists here were quite pleased to have biotics in their community, as opposed to most human outposts, where they were feared or outcast. Turns out, in a mining community where having a large rock fall on you or trap you is a very real possibility, having the power to manipulate gravity and remove said large rock was a valued skill. The colonists of Torox were happy to send the elder Alenkos a few more rations and were more than delighted to send even more when it became evident that young Ash was a biotic as well.

_Great. One more thing for them to yell at me about. That makes 3... _ Ash thought as he hurried home. The ever increasing list of his transgressions building in his mind was more than enough incentive to block out the steady throbbing of his injuries. Both his parents were adamant that he always carry spare rations on him to sustain his high bitotic metabolism. If one of the other kids got hurt or lost, the colonists might have as long as two weeks to find them before they'd succumb to the elements. Ash had more like two days before he would starve to death.

He redoubled his efforts in desperation to evade a grounding. He hobbled in the back door of the prefabricated habitation unit his family lived in, trying to enter as quietly as possible. His luck held. Either no one was home or nobody noticed his entrance. He crept through the kitchen to his room and opened to door...

"Hello, son," his father said amicably. In fact, it was too friendly. "Did you forget these?" His father indicated an untidy pile of skid guards, knee and elbow pads, and a helmet childishly painted to resemble that of an N7 commando.

"Uh, yeah," Ash stumbled over his response. "Was just coming back to get them."

"Leave your hover board somewhere?"

_Yeah, at the bottom of the gap. I almost left the rest of me there, too._

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I left it with, uh, Carlos."

"Son," Kaidan said simply, the implication hanging in the air.

Ash dropped his head. He knew he was caught, and he'd now added a fourth transgression to his list of sins, he'd tried to lie to his father. There were times when Ash swore the rumors about biotics reading minds were true. He just wished his father passed _that_ trait to him as well.

_Then I would have realized that dad was already home waiting for me._

Ash took a deep breath and exhaled. Time to get this all out while he still had the courage to do so.

"I'm-sorry-Dad-I-tried-to-jump-the-gap-out-behind-the-O'Malley place-and-I-didn't-get-up-enough-speed-on-the-ramp-so-I-tried-to-push-myself-off-the-end-bioticly-so-I-would-clear-the-jump-but-I-didn't-push-evenly-and-lost-control-of-my-board-so-I-jumped-off-and-landed-chest-first-against-the-other-side-and-I-made-it-but-my-board-didn't." His torrent of admissions had all spilled out so rapidly, Ash hadn't even notice that he'd admitted yet another fault; he had used biotics when his parents weren't around.

_Oh great! That makes five._ The mistake shown blatantly on his face.

His father sat and looked at him for a long while.

Ash slapped his face with his palm wondering what this fifth mistake would cost him. _Why doesn't he just yell at me and get it over with? He's just sitting there silently to prolong this? To torture me? _

Meanwhile, Kaidan was trying to maintain his composure. He'd been on an emotional roller coaster since he'd seen his son walking home through the kitchen window. At first he had been shocked at his son's appearance when he'd seen him walking towards the house, but had recovered his calm as he realized Ash was ambulatory and fully aware of his surroundings. Now, Kaidan was trying to contain his laughter. It was true that he was disappointed with his son's behavior and concerned for his well being, but Ash's sudden realization that he'd said far more than he'd had to shown so plainly on his face it was comical. Kaidan wanted his son to realize the serious nature of his mistakes and somehow he figured uncontrollable laughter would work against that particular goal.

_SAY SOMETHING! PLEASE ANYTHING! SOMETHING! JUST..._Ash silently pleaded.

"Why?" Kaidan said neutrally.

"Zuh?" Ash was getting so worked up over his impending punishments that he hadn't even noticed his silent prayer had been answered.

"Why? Why try the jump at all? Why try it without the pads? Why use biotics when both your mother and I have both repeatedly told you not to unless one of us is there? Do you understand that even a biotic not fully realized is capable of killing a man, even unintentionally? What if you had hit your friends?" There was no malice in Kaidan's voice. Just simply stated questions.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I know you realize you've done wrong, but I want to know why you tried this in the first place."

"Because Carlos and Zane said I wasn't a real man until I'd jumped the gap and that only sissies wear pads."

Kaidan nodded understanding and motioned his son to come closer. Nervously, Ash approached. Kaidan didn't say anything at first, just rubbed his hands through his son's dark, unruly hair and stared into his eyes. The younger Alenko assumed he was staring him down. What he didn't recognize was the look of concern on his father face or that he wasn't looking at his eyes so much as he was looking at his pupils.

_-Equal, reactive, accommodating to light... _Kaidan was mentally checking off in his head.

_-Ah great, now his looking at how I ruined my new clothes_...Ash fretted.

-_No apparent flail segments_, _no paradoxical motion, 18 breaths per minute... _Kaidan continued his diagnostics.

_-How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? _Ash thought as he stared very intently at anything in the room that was not his father.

Satisfied that his son was not in any immediate danger, Kaidan drew breath to speak.

"Son, pulling stunts like that doesn't prove you're man son. It proves a callous disregard for those who care about you."

"But you did all kinds of crazy things. Fought krogan in close combat, took on the rachni on foot, rode a MAKO through a mass relay..." his son's voice was gaining in volume and pitch as his mannerisms became more and more animated. Kaidan acknowledged the truth of these statements with a nod of his head but cut his son short.

"Because I had to, son. Because there was something of great value to be gained, something that was worth the possible cost of my life. What did you gain today?"

"Carlos and Zane's respect," Ash ventured.

"And when you weigh the value of your life against the value of Carlos and Zane's respect, do you find them equal?"

"No."

"Have they even jumped that gap? What has made their respect so important to you?"

Ash was at a loss for words. "No...they...but... I had to prove myself!"

"And you did, Ash. You proved to them that you cannot think for yourself, that you will capitulate to nothing more than words and insults. And what do you have to show for it all? Who still has a hover board, son? And who is at home getting in trouble?"

"I just wanted to be brave like you," Ash was near tears.

Kaidan was taken aback by this. He had no self confidence issues. Being a galactic hero does wonders for one's self image. But throughout his career, he had always ran into more than his fair share of braggarts who liked to demonstrate their machismo with chest beating and boisterous claims of how bad ass they were. The kind of people who would be so bold as to brag of future exploits, things they were going to do when they finally "saw some action." And these idiots would talk down to Kaidan because he was quiet, because he was polite, respectful, controlled. Well, until he'd end up saving their asses. They'd always expect some kind of retort when their unit returned to the ship and were always confused when Kaidan failed to make a comment on what had transpired.

For this reason it had struck him as odd that anyone, even his own son, would hold him as the epitome of masculinity.

_This is a good thing..._ he told himself as a searched for the right words.

"Brave and stupid are generally differentiated only by purpose."

"Zuh?"

"If you had made that jump because you needed to get to the other side quickly to save someone's life, I wouldn't be angry. As it was, you risked your life to impress people who don't even really like."

"I'm really sorry."

"I know you are."

"How much trouble am I in?"

"Oh a lot of trouble."

Ash hung his head.

"What's this going to cost me?"

"Well let's see... this is going to cost you a hoverboard, wearing those ridiculous highwaters around until I can find you some new clothes, probably a stern lecture from your father..."

Ash eyes lit up as realization dawned on him and he dove into his father's arms. "Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you..."

Kaidan laughed. "Don't thank me yet. Wait until your mother hears what you were doing."

"Do we have to tell her?"

"Yes."

"Man."

With that Kaidan picked his son up, tousled his hair, and carried him lovingly out to the kitchen to patch up his scrapes and bruises.

*******

**And with that I promise to go back to smart aleck, action/adventure.  
**


End file.
